The other night I was sitting with my family, most of whom are very successfully married. We were going in a circle giving our best marriage advice to my little sister on the eve of her wedding. It’s somewhat of a family tradition.
But that’s not what blows. What really blows is that I realized I don’t have any good marriage advice to give. After all, I’ve never had a successful marriage out of the two marriages I did have.
…a long day at work—ten hours.
Arriving home, I discovered things in a shambles. Dinner not started. Dishes not done. And my wife still working feverishly in her office to satisfy a deadline commitment.
There was a time when I would have just said, “Let’s go out for dinner.”
But in today’s economy, that kind of attitude can add up quickly in the financial column.
Now, although I had other plans for the evening, there was an obvious need. My kids were hungry. My wife was on track workwise, but needed a domestic assist. My dream of a relaxing night after a hard day’s work kicked to the curb.
Kaput.
Interrupted.
Thanks for taking a look!
I’ve moved this blog to ILoveMyWifeAlot.com…
Sometimes it’s because of something she said or did…
Other times, it’s because of things she doesn’t do or say.
I just want to say I love you, My Love!
Now, this is nothing new, I tell her that every day…
She knows that I love her dearly.
But, this week…
She is a rose among the thorns…
My friend, adviser, Love.
There is no person on this planet that I value more… Period.
Words can’t explain the gratitude I give to God for putting this woman in my life.
To share the journey.
Together.
…geometry and marriage have to do with each other?
I know the nerds will love this… the rest of you will just have to agree.
What is the easiest way to solve a complex geometric problem?
I’ll answer it for you – find the right angle.
For those of you who had issues with Geometry, a right angle is one where the inside angle measures exactly 90 degrees. Why is this cool? This means that one side of the angle has a perfectly perpendicular view to the world than the other side. This is also the basis for all design and complex decision making. If you cannot see all sides of a problem, how can you solve it with the best accuracy?
com·ple·men·ta·ry
(kŏm’plə-měn’tə-rē, -trē)
adj.
com’ple·men’ta·ri·ly (-tə-rə-lē, -trə-lē, -měn-târ’ə-lē) adv., com’ple·men’ta·ri·ness n.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
Look at yourself. Look at your wife. What are your gifts? What are her strengths? After a bit of reflection, you can see where division of responsibility and labor have been meted out in your relationship based, more or less, on who does it better.
My wife handles the money. I can trust her implicitly. She also deals with 99% of the laundry and most of the cleaning chores inside the house.
I handle most of the regular yard maintenance, oil changes, brake jobs, and structural house maintenance.
Am I being sexist because I don’t do laundry?
Hardly.
If I was being sexist, I wouldn’t let her handle the money.
If I was being sexist, I wouldn’t cook half the meals.
If I was being sexist, I wouldn’t wash the dishes when the sink is full.
If I was being sexist, I wouldn’t let her run her own business.
My wife is an extraordinary woman. There are things at which she is way better at than me. I know this… and I submit myself to her expertise and talent in those areas.
There are things at which I do better than her. So those are my responsibilities.
If you haven’t figured it out already, we are demonstrating the geometric properties of complementary angles in our marriage. Alone, we do not complete the perfect 90deg angle. Together, our strengths are complementary to the other. She sees things a bit different than I do, allowing our marriage to have a more complete view of life, planning for the future, and dealing with family and friends.
Maybe you think it’s a stretch. Fine.
But my wife gets it. And that’s what I care about the most.
In my humble opinion, I recommend that you try to apply this principle to your marriage.
Letting your spouse handle all the finances because you really suck at it is not weak, it’s smart.
My spectacular credit rating is directly attributed to my wife’s integrity and diligence with our finances.
If she’s a horrible cook, but you’re good at it, does it make sense to eat burned, tasteless gruel because it’s “not my job?”
Be sure that you are wisely utilizing all the talents God has given you. Squandering a talent your spouse has just because it’s not traditional is foolish and wasteful.
Give it a shot.
Reevaluate.
Let me know if it improves your life and marriage.
(C) Mo’ Media 2009. All rights reserved.
Let me tell you – my wife… She’s such a planner!
What an amazing woman!
What would I do without her?
Reason #385,614,906,216,476 for why I married this dreamgirl…
An’ she’s all mine…
Travel.
Since our smallest is under two, we did not buy a ticket for her. Wouldn’t you know it – for the leg from Cincinnati to Paris we had an empty seat between us!
God is our travel agent, and He knows our needs!
My wife is such an excellent mom… She was able to entertain a two-year-old for nine hours straight without a mental breakdown. How I deserve this woman… God only knows.
We arrived at Charles de Gaulle airport, deplaned, and, after passing through the one-way security doors, my eight-year-old notices that he cannot find DoMo – his teddy bear… Tears begin to flow. We can’t get back to the plane. We are isolated via security glass, so the gate attendants can’t hear us. Not a happy moment.
We went to the Delta Arrivals counter. They said go to counter two in the Departures terminal and they will help you. By the time we arrived at counter two, they had already found DoMo and he would be there shortly.
Meanwhile, it’s also ten minutes until we have to meet the rest of the family who flew in from Minneapolis. I took the time to switch out sim cards in our phones.
DoMo arrived to a grateful boy and we were on our way to Terminal F to find the rest of our entourage. We reached the end of the connecting concourse and BLAM! we bumped right into them.
Somebody must have hit the EASY button.
Prior to leaving Florida, we had prearranged – with the help of Arnaud and Flo, our home-swap partners – for a taxi to pick us up and take us to Versailles. We were supposed to meet up with the driver at pickup area ten in Terminal F. The price would be €80. We arrived there at the appointed time and voila! there they were – just like Arnaud said.
So, we loaded up and headed to Versailles. Things are great!
While on the road, my wife gets a call from the actual taxi service wondering where we are. Quickly, we realize that we’ve been duped. The guys waiting at the pickup area 10 were not our ride, they were opportunists. Poachers, if you will. Almost as quickly, I realized that this was gonna hurt a bit.
Financially.
Dollar signs.
… uh, correction… Euro signs.
Our driver, we actually had two vehicles because of all the luggage, who had heard the phone conversation between my wife and a ticked off Versailles taxi driver, played dumb until we got to the house. Then, after hauling all the bags to the front door, he and the other driver started playing good cop – bad cop with us. First, they present a bill for €400. Almost $600! That’s practically a plane ticket! For a 30 mile drive. If that. My wife started with explaining our preplanned €80 agreement, but, being the wily Frenchmen they are with an American’s neck in their hands, they play stupid.
The one is all tough.
The other, sympathetic.
He ‘feels our sadness.’
“We nevair agree to dat money!’ the older of the two responds… Which is true. We all ASSUMED that these guys were our ride. They were not. We never asked to confirm the €80 price. They never volunteered to give us one either. They had us in a headlock with Euro signs in their eyes.
Long story short, I haggled them down to €280 and walked away with a very valuable lesson. Today, I was the sucker… and I had nothing to show for it but the stick.
-sigh-
The rest of the day went well… Arnaud and Flo’s house was terrific. HomeExchange.com is definitely the way to go for an overseas vacation! The kids got to play with other kids’ toys. They explored their new home for the next 15 days…
The backyard was very nice with soft grass and roses vining up the walls everywhere!
We drove out to eat – we had also swapped vehicles – and saw some of the sights!
We were barely two miles from the Palace of Versailles – a ridiculously opulent and huge palace for King Louis XIV.
All in all, a tough, but rewarding travel day. Taxi troubles aside, we were in a private home in Versailles – not some cramped hotel room, just outside Paris, and ON VACATION!
My office could not find me – I left no forwarding number. My CrackBerry? At home, in my underwear drawer, with the battery pulled out.
Freedom.
We went to bed about 9pm.
I collapsed next to my Love in the king-sized bed and the day was over.
(C) Mo’ Media 2009. All rights reserved.